I finally broke down and went to a psychic. She held my hands and said, “I see a lot of money in your future. And a very big house.” I was astonished! I asked her if she could tell me when this would happen. She said, “That all depends on when you get caught for … More It’s The Psychic’s Fault!!!
I really like asparagus. I also like cauliflower and broccoli. This is how I know that I’m no longer a kid. Plus, some little people back east keep calling me ‘Papa’. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but I’m pretty sure old guys are called that. What’s next, a hankering for liver and onions? … More Did You Just Call Me Papa???
I love geckos because they’re always green. I’ve compared the geckos in Hawaii to the little Geico dude. All green. But chameleons? You can’t trust ’em. They’re always changing their colors. Oh, and I also don’t like the prism automobile. I like the ‘what you see is what you get’ type of person. People who … More Where Did It Go????
Note to self: Never again iron clothes while standing in a puddle of water, naked. The jolt of electricity sent me across the room, where I took out a dining room table leg and two ribs. Oh, and the hot iron made a nice impression on the floor. Plus you can see me on Dateline … More Who Knew THAT Would Happen???
A car full of nuns ran out of gas. They walked to a gas station but the clerk told them that all he had for them to carry the gasoline was an old bed pan. As they were putting the gas in the car, a man pulled up and said, “Sisters, I wish I had … More Two Nuns Walk In To A Gas Station….
Today is national siblings day. I don’t get it. I don’t know anyone who gets along with all of their siblings. Don’t get me wrong, I love all of my siblings today, but who knows about tomorrow? It should be, ‘Happy siblings you’re currently talking to today!’ My family dynamic is much the same as … More Happy Trivial Fight (Siblings) Day!!!
If by crunches you mean the sound that bacon makes when you eat it, then yes, I do tons of crunches! I think the ‘experts should get their act straight. I’ve heard that every piece of bacon you eat subtracts seven minutes of your life. I don’t believe it! If it were accurate, I should … More I Love Doing Crunches!!!