I used to have a therapist that went to sleep during one of our sessions. I don’t blame him because we all know how I can drone on and on. It was a little unprofessional, I think. So I politely asked him which professional therapist he talks to and then switched to that lady. I … More I Don’t Want To Talk With YOU!!!!
I still remember getting my first full time job. When I got my first paycheck I thought, “Man, this isn’t fair! I made more money in college when my parents paid for everything.” I have been through three different colleges. Harvard, Princeton and Oxford. I had a great time and… Ok, I lied. I got … More I’m Losing All Of My Money!!!
I recently joined a book club. They gave us an assignment to read and report on a specific book. I did it for a week and then it hit me. I voluntarily signed up for something that I hated in high school! Now I’m hanging out with guys who are also ditching class and playing … More You Can’t Make Me!!!!
I think it should be mandatory for every last born child in a family to be responsible for cleaning hair off of the shower drain. I mean, someone has to do it, right? You’re welcome. Its really not the hair itself that is so disgusting. Its the the mixture of hair, soap, shampoo and conditioner. … More I Think I’m Gonna Hurl!!!
Throughout my life, I have always wanted to be somebody. It is now clear that I should have been more specific. I think we all have dreams about who or what we want to be. I always wanted to do radio, either as a baseball announcer or a dj. I became a disc jockey and … More I Have Amnesia!!!
A grumpy man went into the local bar. The bartender asked, “Your son go back to college yet?” The man said,”Two days ago”. “Oh, what is he going to be when he finishes?” The man grumbled, “At this rate, about 40.” College is great for some people. Driven people. People who don’t mind being strapped … More I Don’t Want To Go!!!
In high school, I had a teacher who was particularly tough. Mrs.Beck gave me a tough grade on a project that I thought was unfair. It was around Valentine’s Day so I got her a nice box of chocolates, thinking she might change her mind. I included a card that said, “Be mine!” three next … More Bribe Backfired!!
A man and a woman, strangers, wound up in the same sleeping car of a train. During the night, the woman leans over her bunk and says, “I’m really cold. Could you get me another blanket?” The man says, “I’ve got a better idea, let’s pretend we’re married.” The woman said, “Why not?” The guy said, “Good,” Get your own blanket.” … More It’s Not Real!!