I Can’t Breathe!!!

The worst job I ever had was working on the Paramount Studio lot. I and three other guys were commissioned to remove the insulation off of three giant boilers. There are no windows in that place a and we weren’t given masks to wear And it turns out it was all asbestos, which we breathed … More I Can’t Breathe!!!

I’m Such A Jerk!!!

Heather and I were at the mall doing some shopping. She called me to find out where I was. I said, “Do you remember the jewelry store where we saw that beautiful ring that we couldn’t afford?””Yes”, she said lovingly. “Great, I’m at the sports store right next to it.” I sold jewelry for a … More I’m Such A Jerk!!!

She’s Alive!!

I called my boss to tell him I couldn’t come in because my grandmother had suddenly passed away. The next day, he asked me if I believed in life after death. I told him I did, thank God, for my grandma’s sake. He said, “Well that’s good because she stopped in yesterday to say hello … More She’s Alive!!

So Stupid!!

Yesterday, I saw a sign in a car window that said “For Sale By Owner”. I thought, “Who else?”People, including me, do some pretty stupid things sometimes. In California, I saw a huge sign on top of a restaurant that read “Family Dinning”. Someone paid a lot of money for that sign. A friend of … More So Stupid!!

Are You Nuts???

I once paid two police officers $150 to have my boss arrested in front of 300 people and the company’s senior management. Turns out it really wasn’t a good idea. His response to me? “You better not even go to sleep”.    He and I were in the middle of a “gag war”, which is … More Are You Nuts???

It’s Alive!!!

My son loved transformers. He was constantly playing with them. In fact, he was electrocuted three times.     In the 80’s, I was a trainer for Circuit City. You name anything about consumer electronics and I trained on it. In fact, our whole national team did. We traveled around the country opening up new stores, … More It’s Alive!!!