The worst job I ever had was working on the Paramount Studio lot￼. I and three other guys were commissioned￼ to remove the insulation off of three giant boilers. There are no windows in that place a and we weren’t given masks to wear And it turns out it was all asbestos, which we breathed … More I Can’t Breathe!!!
“I couldn’t play center in football, I’m ticklish.” ~Keith Stubbs I first met Keith Stubbs when we worked in the corporate office of a major retailer in 1985. He worked in the offices across the hall from my office. I heard him talking about buying a new Pontiac Sunbird. I played a successful prank convincing … More Keith Stubbs – My Friend!
A friend of mine swears this is true because he was there when it happened. An out of breath guy rushed into a hardware store and said, “I need to buy a mouse trap and please hurry, I’ve got a bus to catch!” With a straight face, the clerk said, “Sorry, sir, but we don’t … More Did He Just Say What I Think He Said???
I was talking to my neighbor about our kids. He bragged that one had a bachelors degree in economics, another had a PHD in psychology. I asked about his third child. He said, “Oh, he’s a thief.” I asked him why he doesn’t kick him out. He said, “Are you kidding? He’s the only one … More My Kids Are Better Than Yours!!!
Heather and I were at the mall doing some shopping. She called me to find out where I was. I said, “Do you remember the jewelry store where we saw that beautiful ring that we couldn’t afford?””Yes”, she said lovingly. “Great, I’m at the sports store right next to it.” I sold jewelry for a … More I’m Such A Jerk!!!
I called my boss to tell him I couldn’t come in because my grandmother had suddenly passed away. The next day, he asked me if I believed in life after death. I told him I did, thank God, for my grandma’s sake. He said, “Well that’s good because she stopped in yesterday to say hello … More She’s Alive!!
Yesterday, I saw a sign in a car window that said “For Sale By Owner”. I thought, “Who else?”People, including me, do some pretty stupid things sometimes. In California, I saw a huge sign on top of a restaurant that read “Family Dinning”. Someone paid a lot of money for that sign. A friend of … More So Stupid!!