The worst job I ever had was working on the Paramount Studio lot￼. I and three other guys were commissioned￼ to remove the insulation off of three giant boilers. There are no windows in that place a and we weren’t given masks to wear And it turns out it was all asbestos, which we breathed … More I Can’t Breathe!!!
“I couldn’t play center in football, I’m ticklish.” ~Keith Stubbs I first met Keith Stubbs when we worked in the corporate office of a major retailer in 1985. He worked in the offices across the hall from my office. I heard him talking about buying a new Pontiac Sunbird. I played a successful prank convincing … More Keith Stubbs – My Friend!
A friend of mine swears this is true because he was there when it happened. An out of breath guy rushed into a hardware store and said, “I need to buy a mouse trap and please hurry, I’ve got a bus to catch!” With a straight face, the clerk said, “Sorry, sir, but we don’t … More Did He Just Say What I Think He Said???
I was talking to my neighbor about our kids. He bragged that one had a bachelors degree in economics, another had a PHD in psychology. I asked about his third child. He said, “Oh, he’s a thief.” I asked him why he doesn’t kick him out. He said, “Are you kidding? He’s the only one … More My Kids Are Better Than Yours!!!
Heather and I were at the mall doing some shopping. She called me to find out where I was. I said, “Do you remember the jewelry store where we saw that beautiful ring that we couldn’t afford?””Yes”, she said lovingly. “Great, I’m at the sports store right next to it.” I sold jewelry for a … More I’m Such A Jerk!!!
I called my boss to tell him I couldn’t come in because my grandmother had suddenly passed away. The next day, he asked me if I believed in life after death. I told him I did, thank God, for my grandma’s sake. He said, “Well that’s good because she stopped in yesterday to say hello … More She’s Alive!!
Yesterday, I saw a sign in a car window that said “For Sale By Owner”. I thought, “Who else?”People, including me, do some pretty stupid things sometimes. In California, I saw a huge sign on top of a restaurant that read “Family Dinning”. Someone paid a lot of money for that sign. A friend of … More So Stupid!!
I once paid two police officers $150 to have my boss arrested in front of 300 people and the company’s senior management. Turns out it really wasn’t a good idea. His response to me? “You better not even go to sleep”. He and I were in the middle of a “gag war”, which is … More Are You Nuts???
My son loved transformers. He was constantly playing with them. In fact, he was electrocuted three times. In the 80’s, I was a trainer for Circuit City. You name anything about consumer electronics and I trained on it. In fact, our whole national team did. We traveled around the country opening up new stores, … More It’s Alive!!!
A man took his son to a horse auction. He watched his father go from horse to horse running his hands on the legs, rump and chest. His son asked him why he did that. His Dad said that when he’s going to buy a horse he needs to do that to be sure the … More Bring On The Drones!!!