I got a gold pocket watch. My neighbor asked me where I got it. I told him I had to beat three people out to get it. He said, “eBay?” I said, “Nope, two cops and the owner.” I think if I decided to be a thief, I wouldn’t steal things as stupid as a … More Run Like The Wind!!!
A woman saw a little old looking man rocking in a chair outside a Cracker Barrel restaurant. She said, “You look so happy. What’s your secret for a long happy life?” The man said, “I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, drink lots of whiskey, eat cheeseburgers and never exercise.” The woman said, “That’s amazing! How old are you?” He said, “26”. … More Heartburn Again??