We played the Christmas version of ‘Clue’ this year. My Mother-in-law killed the Christmas dinner, in the kitchen, with the oven. Just kidding. She didn’t even touch the holiday dinner. We’ve learned that the hard way. One year, she took the turkey out of the oven and I swear it cried out for help. This … More Get A Clue!!!
When my kids were little, we were leaving Disneyland. My daughter waved and said, “Bye bye, Goofy.” My son waved and said, “Bye bye, Pluto.” I waved and said, “Bye bye, money.” I honestly have no idea how a family can afford to go to any of the Disney properties. Seriously, it’s crazy expensive. I … More Are You Nuts?? I Can’t Afford This!!!
I used to believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. As I grow older, I believe exclusively in the Tooth Fairy. She’s the only one that makes sense. There’s no way I can believe in a jolly old elf that can make his way to every house, hut and shelter around the globe in … More I Believe!! No I Don’t!! Yes I Do!!
I just read an email from a retailer that called today ‘Thanksgiving Tuesday’. Really? What’s next? “Don’t miss these exciting eight months, two weeks and 12 hour Thanksgiving deals!” I swear it will happen. When will the blatent non-stop greedy exploitation of holidays end? Even Veterans Day, Labor and Memorial Days trigger ‘Extended Holiday Sale!’ … More Um, What Day Is This???
Heather and I were playing ‘Trivial Pursuit’ with some friends when one of the other guys got the question, ‘If you’re in a vacuum and someone calls your name, could you hear it?’ He told thought it over and asked, “Is it on or off?” Knucklehead. Playing games with friends or family can be very … More Seriously?? That’s Your Answer???
I got into an altercation with an extremely obnoxious man who refused to move away from me, despite repeat requests to do so. I even punched the guy. In jail, my lawyer explained that my behavior was way out of line on a plane. Some people are far too honest. You know them. Proud to … More I’m Better Than You!!!!
I used to live paycheck to paycheck just like everyone else. Over time that changed. Now I live direct deposit to direct deposit. You have to love today’s technology. It used to feel like a real accomplishment when you received a paycheck on payday. I miss those days. I understand that we don’t want to … More You Call This Progress????