An Arkansas ￼guy named ￼Keegan Byers called the police recently to report A robbery. Someone had stolen his extra cheese burger! I know! Who would do such a cowardly deed? The police said the man was extremely intoxicated. Byers said he bought two but only ate one before going to sleep. And oh, by the … More Give me back my burger!!
I finally realize that I need to join a gym and get in shape. I’ll work out for a full year. Let’s see, I pick 2028. There was a time when Heather and I went to the gym Monday through Saturday and really worked out hard. We really became addicted to exercise. I know! We … More I’m Going To Do It!!
Every time I’m tempted to eat a cheeseburger I hear two voices. One says “Eat the cheeseburger.” The other one says “You heard him, eat the cheeseburger!” It is virtually impossible for me to resist a really good cheeseburger. Who am I kidding, it doesn’t even really have to be that good. Within a five … More I’m So Weak!!!
I’m so afraid that my stomach will one day just simply reject what I send it. It will be completely wiped out by trying to turn what I give it into healthy nutrition. I don’t deal with rejection well. I’m the first to admit that I haven’t kept my commitment to eat healthy all of … More I’m Going To Live Forever!!!!!
I ordered a “pair” of glasses and the scheisters only sent one!I called them about it but they just said, That’s a good one, laughed and hung up om me. If I had ordered a pair of champagne flutes I’m pretty sure I would have received two. Its the same way with scissors. … More I’m So Angry!!
Yesterday was weird. I ate a cheeseburger that tasted like a potato chip. … More Let A Chip Be A Chip!
Frost is weird. Sunshine is wonderful. Snow is great. Rain is delicious. But my favorite thing is pastrami. … More Don’t Ruin My Sandwich!