The term Super Bowl should be changed to Super Balls this year. … More Hey! My Footballs are Leaking!!
I met a guy at a Christmas party this year, and asked about his year. He said, “I had it all; money, a beautiful house, a nice car, a great motorcycle and the love of a beautiful woman. Suddenly, it was all gone.” I said, “What happened?” He said, “My wife found out!” … More Take My Wife, Please!
Two guys were being slowed down on the golf course by two ladies in front of them. One guy said he would simply ask the women if they could play through. He came back and said “I can’t. It’s my wife and mistress!” The other guy said he would do it, but also came back quickly, saying, “I can’t do it, I have the same problem!” … More Fore!!
If the eyes are truly the windows to the soul, I’m going to put blinds on them. I don’t need people looking in there. … More Windows to the Soul!
I’ve heard people say, “Don’t get your nose out of joint”, which makes me wonder if some people get arthritis in their nose. … More Arthritis in Your Nose??
In my mind, Fruit Loops sound like the happiest of all circular shaped cereals. … More Breakfast!
Every time my wife asks me who I’m talking to on the phone, texting, emailing, etc., I always tell her it’s Jake, from State Farm. … More Suspicious Minds!
I’ve still got it. Yesterday, a hot girl gave me her phone number without me even asking for it. Ok, I hit her car, but still… … More Cheating!