Years ago, I worked in a clothing store. A woman and her son were looking at ladies jackets. The woman approached me and asked me, “If you had a girlfriend, what kind would you get”? I said,”One that is bullet proof. I’m married”! I guess she didn’t notice that my own clothing wasn’t even color … More Bullet Proof???
Note to self. If you’re hooked up with either Beyoncé or Carrie Underwood, don’t cheat!! Beyoncé has just release a new song and video called “Lemonade” shows the Queen of Pop gleefully smashing dozens of cars and other objects to smithereens with a baseball bat. She has a better batting average than Buster Bosey. We … More Stop Destroying My Car!!
I failed a test and the teacher made me take it home, have my mother sign it and return it to her. My mother asked me why I got an F. I told her it was due to absence. She said that was ridiculous because I was obviously there to flunk the test. I said, … More Cheat? Me????
The term Super Bowl should be changed to Super Balls this year. … More Hey! My Footballs are Leaking!!
I met a guy at a Christmas party this year, and asked about his year. He said, “I had it all; money, a beautiful house, a nice car, a great motorcycle and the love of a beautiful woman. Suddenly, it was all gone.” I said, “What happened?” He said, “My wife found out!” … More Take My Wife, Please!
Two guys were being slowed down on the golf course by two ladies in front of them. One guy said he would simply ask the women if they could play through. He came back and said “I can’t. It’s my wife and mistress!” The other guy said he would do it, but also came back quickly, saying, “I can’t do it, I have the same problem!” … More Fore!!
If the eyes are truly the windows to the soul, I’m going to put blinds on them. I don’t need people looking in there. … More Windows to the Soul!