Twitter has gotten so out of hand. Yesterday the birds in our neighborhood marched with picket signs to try to get people from calling the messages ‘tweets’. It was similar to the march last year on Halloween when birds protested small children saying the phrase ‘Trick or treat’ as ‘Twick or tweet’. Unfortunately, there are … More Rosanne is Baaack… What? She’s Not?????
Spring is simply a prelude to the dog days of summer. If we skipped summer altogether we could have Spring and then Fall. That makes a lot more sense. I know many people love summer. Therefore they love Spring, the gateway to 100 degree weather or even hotter. No thank you. Years ago, we lived … More Spring Time?? Ugh!!!
Spring is simply a prelude to the dog days of summer. If we skipped summer altogether we could have Spring and then Fall. That makes a lot more sense. I know many people love summer. Therefore they love Spring, the gateway to 100 degree weather or even hotter. No thank you. Years ago, we lived … More I Hate Spring!!!
I was setting up a joke at a comedy club one night about progress. I said, “We have built a ship to cross an ocean, fast trains to travel across cities, and built planes to fly high in the skies like a bird…” A guy in the audience yelled, “But a man can’t sit on … More We’ve Come So Far, Or Have We???
I went to see my therapist because I had been having dreams that I was a dog. She told me to lie down on the couch and talk about it. I told her no because I wasn’t allowed on furniture. Dogs who live in a loving home have it made. They can play, sleep 18 … More Get Off The Couch!!
Do you know why hummingbirds hum? They forget the lyrics. I love birds. All of them. If I wasn’t too busy using my binoculars to spy on my neighbors, I would be an avid bird watcher. Hummingbirds are my favorite. I’m impatiently waiting for them to arrive next month! The bird feeder is already out … More I Forgot The Words!!
Last week I found an injured robin in the backyard. I didn’t know what to do, so I called animal control. They told me to nurse the bird back to health, so I did that and the bird is fine now, but my nipples are killing me! … More Bird Brain!!
Last month, I found a wounded duck in my yard. I didn’t know what to do, so I called the Audubon Society for advice. The representative said, “All you can do is try to nurse it back to health”, so I did that and the duck is doing fine now but my nipples are killing me! … More Wait! Don’t Shoot!!
A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The panda eats it, shoots the waiter, and walks out. The owner yells for him to stop. “You order food, kill my waiter, then leave without paying!” The bear says, “Hey! I’m a Panda. Look it up!” The owner Googles “panda bear” and read “Panda: a bear-like marsupial who eats shoots and leaves.” … More Panda Express!!
Me: Do you have ADHD?
Friend: I don’t think… Wanna go for a run? … More My Dog has ADHD!!