I got into an altercation with an extremely obnoxious man who refused to move away from me, despite repeat requests to do so. I even punched the guy. In jail, my lawyer explained that my behavior was way out of line on a plane. Some people are far too honest. You know them. Proud to … More I’m Better Than You!!!!
Robert Di Nero uttered those words in “Analyze This”, at Billy Crystal’s character, a shrink. Billy, grasping at straws, said, “Well, you know what makes me feel better, is if I pick an object in the room and hit it, as many times as it takes for you to feel better”. … More I Got Stress!!!
I once knew a comedian who was an idiot. He thought a punch line was waiting to get a fruity drink. … More Stand Up!
I told my therapist I thought I was OK now, and wouldn’t need more appointments. I thought her explosive laughter was a bit over the top. … More Head Shrinkers!
Golf is a great sport, unless you die playing it. Then it’s a bummer. … More Killer Golf!
I got into an altercation with an extremely obnoxious man who refused to move away from me, despite repeat requests to move away. I even punched the guy. In jail, my lawyer explained that my behavior was way out of line on a plane. … More Maniacs!
Don’t make me angry, The voices in my head don’t like it when you make me angry. … More Blood and Guts
Whenever I see hash tags, it makes me hungry for breakfast at Dennys. … More Hash Tags and Eggs!
I think it would be funny if one of the networks hired a group of gregarious psychics and do a show called “The Tomorrow Show. … More The Tonight Show!
In Vancouver, BC, someone invented and now serves marijuana pizza. Brilliant! Satisfy your habit and the munchies at the same time! … More Marijuana Pizza!