Am I what!?!?

It’s very annoying to me that during an interview some people ask and answer their own questions. Example: “Do I think this is lame? Yes.” Seriously, for some reason it drives me nuts. I used to have a teacher who would do the same thing. We were never able to answer the question that was … More Am I what!?!?

I am the best!!!

I always strive to be the best at whatever I do. It doesn’t always work, in fact I’ve only been able to accomplish perfection In one thing. I do a perfect impression of myself. I mean it is spot on! I love doing impressions in my act. I did quite a few, such as Forrest … More I am the best!!!

I Am Toast!!!

Does anybody ever use a toaster for bread anymore? All of my friends and family seem to use it only for a Ego waffles and pop tarts. It’s no wonder. My toaster has two settings. One, to warm the bread slightly and two, smoke detector mode. I think that maybe it’s time to get a … More I Am Toast!!!

Election Day!!!

The new Vice President kept telling his wife that he can’t believe he’s Vice President. Finally she said, “Get over yourself. Even the grocery store has a vice president of the peas department”. He called the store and asked for the VP of the peas department. She asked, fresh or frozen? It’s been decades since … More Election Day!!!

Wrap Rage!!

Who knew it was a thing? It is! I know I certainly had it this morning, trying to open a string cheese package. Seriously? Does it have to be so tough? Those things are harder to open than Bill Clinton’s mouth on the witness stand. … More Wrap Rage!!