I got into an altercation with an extremely obnoxious man who refused to move away from me, despite repeat requests to do so. I even punched the guy. In jail, my lawyer explained that my behavior was way out of line on a plane. Some people are far too honest. You know them. Proud to … More I’m Better Than You!!!!
March Madness is something completely different for me. It’s the memory of two March marriages. Now that’s March Madness, my friends. … More March Madness!!
A friend won a ticket to the Super Bowl. It was in a terrible seat. He saw an empty seat at the 50 yard line and took it. The guy sitting next to him said this was the first Super Bowl that his wife missed since 1968. My buddy asked why he didn’t give the ticket to a family member. The guy said, “They’re at her funeral.” … More Super Bowl!
I would like to thank the UK for creating professional soccer. I would also like to thank them for being absolutely horrible soccer players. … More World Cup!
Golf is a great sport, unless you die playing it. Then it’s a bummer. … More Killer Golf!
I got into an altercation with an extremely obnoxious man who refused to move away from me, despite repeat requests to move away. I even punched the guy. In jail, my lawyer explained that my behavior was way out of line on a plane. … More Maniacs!
Don’t make me angry, The voices in my head don’t like it when you make me angry. … More Blood and Guts
Whenever I see hash tags, it makes me hungry for breakfast at Dennys. … More Hash Tags and Eggs!
I think it would be funny if one of the networks hired a group of gregarious psychics and do a show called “The Tomorrow Show. … More The Tonight Show!
In Vancouver, BC, someone invented and now serves marijuana pizza. Brilliant! Satisfy your habit and the munchies at the same time! … More Marijuana Pizza!