Does anyone know of a diet plan where you can eat all of the holiday leftovers so you’re not throwing out good food and at the same time lose two pounds a day? I’m uh, asking for a friend. I lost about seven pounds before Thanksgiving and gained it back. Ugh! I’m sure that happens … More It’s Here!! Today’s The Day!!!
Heather wanted a Pebble watch this year and prefers a heavy metal band rather than the leather one that comes with the watch. My neighbor gave me an idea for a gag gift. I took her old Pebble watch and super glued a Metallica CD to the face of it. Wait for it…. I’m your … More You Idiot!!!
Anniversaries are a lot like bungi jumping. If you forget something critical, you die. A woman’s memory is amazing. She can recall the first day you met, dated, kissed got engaged, got married and everything you’ve done wrong since the wedding. Yesterday marked the 20th anniversary of our first date. How do I know? I … More Yikes!! Our Anniversary Was Yesterday and I forgot!!
A married couple is lying in bed on the eve of their anniversary. He says to his wife, “I’m going to make you the happiest woman in the world”! She said, “I’ll miss you”. Heather and I will have been married for 18 years tomorrow. Really? It sure doesn’t seem like that long. At … More 18 Years???
Anniversaries are a lot like bungie jumping. If you forget something critical, you die. A woman’s memory is amazing. She can recall the first day you met, dated, kissed got engaged, got married and everything you’ve done wrong since the wedding. Today marks the 19th anniversary of our first date. How do I know? I … More If You Forget, You Die!!
The CIA says bin Laden’s last words were Are you guys here about the dishwasher? … More Osama Bin Dead
They say that “love means never having to say you’re sorry”. If that’s the case, I must not be in love with my wife. … More We Shattered the Record!!