The last time I was in the hospital my wife told me that one of our dogs “Spends the night at the front door, waiting for you”. I said, “I wonder if you’d be that concerned about me?” She said, “Honey, if you were gone overnight, and I didn’t know where you were, you can … More I Miss You!!!
Sometimes a woman will have a dream that her husband cheated on her. Even though she knows it’s a dream, she’ll stay angry for days. Any man who has been married for an extended period of time knows what I’m talking about. And she doesn’t stay mad for a short period of time, but … More Nightmares!!!
I greased my elbow yesterday, because my Dad always told me to use it. Now my wife is mad, because I got grease all over the house. Thanks, Dad. We’ve heard that term since we were kids. Some say it originated in the Navy, as a practical joke to cadets, who are sent all … More Think Before You Speak!!!
Arguing with a woman is like reading the software license agreement. In the end, you ignore everything and click “I agree.” I’ve yet to win an argument with any woman. Ever. She doesn’t even have to be my wife and I’ll still lose. They’re tenacious and will never give up. Then, if it is your … More I Win!!
My Aunt and Uncle went for a drive and stopped for lunch. Afterward they were about 25 miles from the diner when my Aunt noticed she left her glasses on the table. He was mad that they had to go back to get them and rudely gave her a lecture about leaving things behind. When … More You Need Glasses!!!
If I were going to have a service animal, I would choose a skunk. That way, on a plane, boom! The whole row to myself. … More Pepe Le Pew!