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A slightly twisted view of life from a comedian

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Tag: Alexa

On a scale from 1 to 10…!!

February 1, 2020

I think it would be cool if refrigerators had a scale attached and they would only open if you have lost some weight. For thinner people, it would scan you and open only if your BMI was within acceptable range. I would love it! Chubby guys like me wouldn’t be able to eat the left … More On a scale from 1 to 10…!!

9 Comments On a scale from 1 to 10…!!

Knock Knock!! I Know Who You Are!!

March 14, 2019

My landlord is so cool! I told him we needed a peep hole in the front door. He really didn’t want a hole in the door, so he bought a ring bell so I can see everyone who comes to the door before I open it. Now when the cops come for me, I can … More Knock Knock!! I Know Who You Are!!

5 Comments Knock Knock!! I Know Who You Are!!

I Can’t See What Time It Is!!!

December 29, 2018

The clock in our car tells us whether it’s AM or PM. If you can’t tell whether it’s night or day on your own, I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t be driving a vehicle. I remember when we used to put a clock on the wall for more than just decoration. We actually needed the device … More I Can’t See What Time It Is!!!

3 Comments I Can’t See What Time It Is!!!

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