A 9 year old boy was hungry for McDonald’s. He was home alone, so he called 911. The dispatcher sent a cop to check on the kid. Along the way, the officer stopped at McDonald’s and bought the kid lunch. I think I’m going to call today and tell them that I’m hankerin’ for Ruth’s … More It Happened Again?? This Is Ridiculous!!!
Back in my single days, I had a gym membership. One day I saw a woman that I really wanted to impress. I asked one of the trainers which machine I could use to impress her. He looked me over and said, “I would try the ATM across the street.” Men and women will do … More Very Funny, You Jerk!!!!!’
Every time I hear someone say “He/She rubs me the wrong way.”, I think,”If you are unhappy with the way they rub you, you shouldn’t let them rub you anymore.” Why would you do that? Even if it’s a masseuse, hire someone else. Seriously, it’s kind of a stupid thing to say. I think it … More Which Way Should I Rub You????
I am logged in, therefore I am Everyone is electronically logged into something. At work, we have to log on to our computer. If you use a smart phone, you must, at the minimum be logged into the operating system used by the carrier. Iphones, Ipads, Kindle, Bluetooth, Netflix, Hulu, email – you name it, … More Seriously?? A Logger???
I volunteered to judge a chili contest. I had no idea how spicy it was going to be. I couldn’t even take notes. my ears were ringing, sweat was pouring off my forehead and I could no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. I had permanent brain damage. … More Chili Today, Hot Tamale!!
Donald Trump said that he hoped Osama bin Laden suffered a lot. It looks like he got his wish, because the CIA said bin Laden spent his last hour watching Celebrity Apprentice. Today is a bittersweet day for me. The most cowardly and costly terrorist attack on American soil took place, with bin Laden … More Terrorist Cowards!!
A 911 dispatcher received this call last week. “Please help me, there’s a cat near me.” “Calm down. Unless it’s a bobcat, it won’t hurt you.” “This one will! It’s just staring at me, and I know it’s going to attack me soon!” “Ma’am…” “What do you mean, Ma’am? I’m a parrot, you idiot!” … More Awk! Help Me!
A 911 dispatcher received this call last week. “Please help me, there’s a cat near me.” “Calm down. Unless it’s a bobcat, it won’t hurt you.” “This one will! It’s just staring at me, and I know it’s going to attack me soon!” “Ma’am…” “What do you mean, Ma’am? I’m a parrot, you idiot!” … More Help! A Cat!!