I got 100%!

When I was a kid, I really didn’t care much about school. I would much rather make people laugh than get good grades. One time I came home and told my Mom I got 100%! She was excited. I said, “Yep, I got a 50 in history, a 30 in English and a 20 in … More I got 100%!

I can’t fit!!

We have 1,326 magnets on our refrigerator. And we don’t even have kids! We have grandkids but their pictures are all in frames so why in the world do we need so many magnets? The truth is we don’t and it’s really quite stupid. I just get the things in the mail or in a … More I can’t fit!!

I’m not a smoker!

The last time we checked into a hotel, the desk clerk asked us if we wanted smoking or non-smoking. Fair question. I said smoking. Then she went on a rant about how horrible it is for your health and well-being. She had no idea that I wasn’t talking about cigarettes. I brought along my new … More I’m not a smoker!

You said what???

The worst part about the protesters in Salt Lake City was the reporters ending their sentences with prepositions. Believe it or not, that joke sparked a verbal war on my Facebook page. Someone was really offended because they took that to mean that I was somehow OK with what happened to George Floyd. I know! … More You said what???

You knucklehead!!!

A friend of mine wanted to sell his car but was having trouble because it had 250,000 miles on it. I hooked him up with a friend who could manipulate the computer to read 50,000. I asked him if he sold the car. He said, “I decided not to because it only has 50,000 miles … More You knucklehead!!!