One day bananas look, taste and smell great and the next day, the banana’s toxic fumes will try to kill you. Bananas should not ferment. Children eat them. I don’t think kids should be getting high off of bananas. They also come with stickers attached. I don’t need reading material on my banana. I think … More I’ve Gone Completely Bananas!!!
I’m learning how to slice food with one of those ‘As seen on tv’ gadgets one finger at a time. I finally threw it away. I’m a bleeder. I don’t think having perfectly sliced cucumbers is worth bleeding out. I wish I was kidding, but I’m not. I’ve used the thing three times resulting in … More I Want My Finger Back!!!
My house doesn’t have a/c. I didn’t think I could afford a system last year so I bought 34 tubs and kept them filed with dry ice and water with a fan behind each. It was cool but very foggy and I kept running into things. I finally broke my leg. I spent $175,000 that … More I Can’t See Through The Fog!!!
We all know that Oprah gave Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz their start. What I just learned is that there was one who failed miserably on her show. Dr. Kevorkian was a total bust. No one would volunteer. Can you imagine the show, ‘Doctor Death’? I know! I just don’t think he would have been … More Doctor! Please Help Me!!!
These days I sign all important documents with an EpiPen. At my age, most documents I sign have something to do with my ultimate demise and my EpiPen package says it can save my life. Thank you, EpiPen. EpiPens are really strange looking gadgets. I’m supposed to take one with me wherever I go. The … More Give Me Back My Pen!!!
I’m in the mood for some silly duck jokes. What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have a handlebar except for the duck. What does a duck have in common with a Ming Vass? Neither is a lamp. There ya go. When I lived in Eureka, California, our neighbors were … More Those Ducks Can’t Fly!!!!
Our popcorn air popper died last night, so Heather used her blow dryer instead. I was amazed at how great it worked. I do wish she had used butter instead of gel and hairspray, though. That part was gross. I can remember a time when there were only a couple of ways people popped corn. … More Who Put The Gunk In My Popcorn???