I really hate it when someone slams my fingers in the car door. Then again, that’s probably a healthy outlook. If I enjoyed it, what would that mean? Have you ever done something like bumping into a wall and instinctively said, ouch, even though it didn’t hurt? I’ve done that so many times. It should … More Ouch!!! That Didn’t Hurt. What???
I’m sure the CIA is on to me by now. I’ve been writing and sending them blogs that are secured in a code that they can’t possibly break. I call it the “Idiot Code” and they are obviously embarrassed for being unable to crack it. They just tell me to “Cease and Desist.” I know … More I’m Being Followed!!!
A Nun found $100 in an envelope that read “Don’t Worry.” She decided to give it to someone in need. She dropped the envelope down to a homeless man. He gave her the thumbs up sign. The next day he showed up with handfuls of hundred dollar bills. When she asked why he said, “It’s … More Seriously??? Who Does That???
A friend of mine is a principal at a middle school. One day he saw a new substitute teacher banging his forehead against a locker muttering , “How did I get myself into this?” My friend asked, “Are you okay? Can I help?” The teacher said, “I’ll be fine as soon as I get this kid … More I’m A Shut In!!!
I’m trying to be a good citizen and recycle. But the problem is the recyclable trash is picked up every other Wednesday. I can’t seem to figure out the schedule. I am such a dork. Why not pick it up every third Thursday every other month? The result would be the same. There’s nothing worse … More I’m Getting Crazy!!!
As a comedian, you know you’ve had a bad show when one by one, audience members stop by before leaving and say, “That was good. You were funny. Keep practicing.” Keep practicing? “Lady, I’ve been doing comedy for 30 years! You keep practicing at laughing, you idiot!” Out loud I say, “Thank you, I will.” … More I Secretly Hate You!!!
Its hard to write about the worst massacre in modern day United States. Horror for all of those in attendance, estimated at 22,000 to 30,000. The cowardly shooter killed 50 at this point although approximately 400 were injured, many clinging to life. It is not considered a terrorist attack although a motive has yet to … More Las Vegas Massacre