I was pretty hard hearted toward the ladies as a result of three divorces. The woman I was dating asked, “How much do you love me?” I said, “I love you like as many stars you can see in the sky. She said, “But it’s daylight.” I said, “I know.” I don’t think some people … More Ouch!! That Hurt!!
If you are a snooze button user, here is the perfect solution. Place a wasp nest on the top of your clock. Problem solved.My wife is notorious for hitting the snooze button for at least an hour before she has to be out of bed. I don’t get it. If I have to get up … More If You Snooze, You Lose!!!
Now that our kids are grown and two of them have children, I like to mess with them from time to time. I never tell them what we’re sending the kids on their birthdays and I sometimes can’t resist the urge to buy them something loud and obnoxious. Justice. Heh, heh, heh. When two of … More I’m Going Nuts!!!
A man was sprawled across three seats in a theater. The usher said sir, but you’re only allowed one seat. “Sir, ifI’m going to have to get the manager.” The man didn’t budge. The manager tried to move the guy, with no success. They finally asked him where he was from. He said, “The balcony.” … More Jack Mabbott – A Very Stubborn And Funny Man
I’m dieting right now. Actually, I’m on two diets. You can’t seem to eat enough on just one. My doctor is crazy. He wants me to get down to my original weight but that’s 6 pounds and 2 ounces. I know, I know, diets don’t work. It will hopefully become a lifestyle but for now … More Amazing Diet!!!
In a church bulletin: Weight Watchers meeting at 7 PM. Please use large double door at the side entrance. People obviously make mistakes, but none as scrutinized as those printed in a church bulletin. Secretaries proof read the bulletins, but it’s not a fool proof system. The spoken word can get just as messy. One … More Hooker? Seriously???
The prognosticators are busy trying to determine what the result will be. I care deeply about the final result but here is my level of interest of opinions now: The Detroit Tigers and San Francisco Giants need to have very strong finishes to make the playoffs. I love baseball. I love football, too but baseball … More Did James Comey Help Or Hurt President Trump???