A friend of mine rented a piano for his wife. After a few weeks I asked him how it was going. He said he talked her into playing the clarinet instead. I asked him why. “Simple”, he said. “With a wind instrument she can’t sing.” Some people can sing and some can’t. I don’t know … More That Noise Is Killing Me!!!!
Who created ‘head cheese’ and why? I realize that they try to sell everything so nothing goes to waste, but why would someone think, “Hey, I know! Let’s make really gross lunch meat out of the head and sell it?” The amazing thing is that people BUY IT! I think they just throw the word … More This Food Is Disgusting!!!
I heard a guy call a woman by the wrong name. She corrected him and he said, “Same difference.” That makes no sense to me. It’s like when my Uncle told me this joke; “What’s the difference between a duck? One leg is bigger than the other.” I have no idea what either of the … More Same Difference?? What The Heck???
Last night we were watching ‘A Quiet Place’. Suddenly, Heather sneezed and I wet myself. What a great movie, but not to be watched at home on the fourth of July or New Years Day. Unexpected noises will freak you out! It’s kind of like when your mother in law announces without warning that she’ll … More She Sneezed! Run For Your Life!!!
I wonder if people in prison celebrate Independence Day. I think the whole incarceration thing would probably squash the enthusiasm for celebrating the thankfulness for freedom. Maybe they could get red white and blue Jell-O instead of the horrid fruit cup. I’m really not trying to make light of the inmates conditions or the fact … More Independence Day? Are You Nuts???
I’ve often heard the phrase, ‘Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater’. Seriously? What kind of person would do that? That’s just mean plus the wet baby would get all dirty again and that completely defeats the purpose of the bath, right? Who ‘throws’ out bathwater anyway when there’s a perfectly good drain right … More Stop Throwing The Baby!!!
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Therefore applesauce everyday should keep all drunk doctors away. Typically, you wouldn’t think a physician would come to work after a bender but the odds are some of them do and I think they’re all mine. I know! It took a host of the best doctors in … More You’re Drunk!!!