Heather got her first ticket from a traffic camera in the mail yesterday. She sent it back with a note that read, “I don’t like the quality of the picture and it’s way too expensive!” Gotta love her. I think most of us despise those stupid cameras unless it catches that annoying speed demon who … More It’s No Good And I’m Not Paying For It!!!!
I want to live in a tent on my own land. A rain proof tent that’s big; the kind with three bedrooms, so there’s plenty of space. I’d also need a generator for TV, cooking, lights and an electric blanket. Ah, very few bills and when big gusts of wind hit, it’s like going on … More Get Off My Land!!!
My neighbor was practicing on her piano. I called 911. The dispatcher asked what my emergency was and I told her there was a body next door. She asked if I was sure and I said, “Yes! It’s Mozart! I’m pretty sure my neighbor is butchering him!” Well I thought it was funny. I got … More You Killed Him!!!
I think I might have found the pain that women feel during childbirth. Last night I had a charly horse in my right ribcage. The pain was crazy and I couldn’t breathe. It finally subsided and then it hit my left ribcage. Back and forth for a long time. Ok, I know it couldn’t have … More No, Not The Ribs!!!
I’m so ashamed. 14 years ago I ate the last piece of left over chicken. I was going to blame it on our dog, Mulder, but all he had to do was prove that he couldn’t open the refrigerator, kind of like OJ and the glove. So, I’ve just played dumb all of these years. … More I Can’t Believe I Ate The Whole Thing!!!!
Have you ever had a dream that seemed like it really happened? I had one of those yesterday. I dreamed I was eating saltine crackers and raw hamburger while watching French mimes on TV. Suddenly Lady Gaga stormed in the front door and said “How dare you!!” and took off with the hamburger. Weird, eh? … More Seriously?? That Really Happened???
I used to live paycheck to paycheck just like everyone else. Over time that changed. Now I live direct deposit to direct deposit. You have to love today’s technology. It used to feel like a real accomplishment when you received a paycheck on payday. I miss those days. I understand that we don’t want to … More You Call This Progress????