Two comedians were having lunch. One of them said, “Man, I had the worst gig last night. I performed in a bowling alley in front of four people for free!” The other comic said, “Man, that’s brutal. So, uh, who books it?” (Credit to Bruce Baum) When you first start out in the world of … More Worst Show Ever!!!
I don’t understand the term, ‘working like a dog’. My dogs don’t work. In fact, they just lay around looking cute. That’s it. Oh, they pretend to protect us by barking at the front door when no one is there. I can do that. I can also sleep like a log. I’m very talented. I … More I’ve Been Working Like Dog!!!
Sometimes I order food from ‘Uber Eats’ just so I can watch the car move to my house on the map. Easily entertained? Pretty much. I love the Uber Eats program. For those who might be unfamiliar with it, you download the app on your phone. When you open it, it determines your location and … More They’re Coming!! They’re Coming!!!
Since our state legislators think it’s ok to modify propositions the people vote for without our consent, I think we should be able to change things in their lives the same way. Sorry Governor, we have decided to replace your limo with a 1971 Ford Pinto, in the interest of the people. Who do these … More We Voted On The Important Issues! So What???
The next time someone who really doesn’t care asks me “How’s everything?”, I’m going to tell them everything. It will be the equivalent of someone asking Socrates, “So, whatcha thinking about?” I really don’t like insincere comments and questions, do you? Having said that, there are times when it seems appropriate. Like when someone dumps … More I’ll Tell You Everything!!!
I had an uncle who, when my aunt said she was going to ‘put on her face’, said “I hope it’s not the same one as yesterday.” I said I HAD an uncle. The service was lovely. I love the fact that my wife doesn’t wear any make up. She really has a natural beauty. … More Stop Making That Face!!!
A former mother in law, as her daughter was leaving, told me that she ‘broke her back’ and ‘worked her fingers to the bone’ trying to make a home for me and my children. Saying that I was unaware because each of those would have required immediate medical attention was apparently the wrong approach. You … More Ouch!!!! That Had To Be Excruciating!!!