Today is national siblings day. I don’t get it. I don’t know anyone who gets along with all of their siblings. Don’t get me wrong, I love all of my siblings today, but who knows about tomorrow? It should be, ‘Happy siblings you’re currently talking to today!’ My family dynamic is much the same as … More Happy Trivial Fight (Siblings) Day!!!
If by crunches you mean the sound that bacon makes when you eat it, then yes, I do tons of crunches! I think the ‘experts should get their act straight. I’ve heard that every piece of bacon you eat subtracts seven minutes of your life. I don’t believe it! If it were accurate, I should … More I Love Doing Crunches!!!
My friend’s wife threatened to leave him again yesterday. She’s threatened to quit more times than Brett Favre. Soon the threats sound empty and meaningless. It’s becomes like the old joke, “How can I miss you when you won’t go away.” Empty threats are useless, especially when you are called out on them right away … More You’re Leaving Me?? How Dare You!!!
On Tuesday, two Alabama men decided it would be fun to put on bullet proof vests, go in the back yard and shoot each other. They followed through but one of them had to go to the hospital. They were both arrested. Just a hunch, but do you think there was moonshine involved? Seriously, the … More I Shot You First!! No, I Shot YOU First!!!
This year I hope to check off every item left on my bucket list. Let’s see, build a suit just like Iron Man, climb Mt. Everest, knock off a liquor store, find Jimmy Hoffa and watch the Miami Dolphins win a SuperBowl. Oh, and attend a live Buddy Holly show. I think I can get … More Think I Can’t? Just Watch Me!!!
My brother Jim told me that when he asked his wife, Joanne where she wanted to go on vacation, she said that just being married to him was a vacation. I said, “What a nice thing to say.” Jim said, “Well, actually, she said I was the ‘last resort.” Everyone has their own idea of … More I Need A Vacation!!!
Last year on April Fools Day, I told a police officer that I had committed the murder they couldn’t solve. Before I could say “April Fools!”, I was on the ground, cuffed and whisked off for 8 grueling hours of interrogation. They were not happy about my prank. I need to think these things through. … More I Got You Good!!!