Zip line

I’ve never been on a zip line, but if I do I want to go at night wearing night vision goggles and a special forces uniform with a gun. Oh, and I might never come back. I’ve often thought about living in the woods and living off the land. It would probably be very lonely, and I would miss Heather tremendously but I’m not talking about forever, just a couple of years.

I would have to get really buff like Rambo I wouldn’t need to say things that other people cannot understand. I just need to know how to build a shelter, which I’ve learned from watching survivor. I also know how to make fire from the same television program. All I need is flint. I don’t know what natural vegetation I can consume there so I’ll have to learn to hunt small game.

Of course this would all be in a video game because I would be scared to death living in the woods by myself. That’s the craziest thing I think I’ve ever said. I wouldn’t make it 10 minutes. I’d be shooting off a flare gun at nine minutes or until I was bit by a mosquito. I like to camp, but not by myself. I know some people who love that but I try to stay away from them. Clearly something is wrong.

I couldn’t even go on excursions when my son was in the Cub Scouts. I’ve chronicled those episodes in a couple of blogs. Let’s just say that every single time things ended in a disaster. And I mean a disaster. I’ve lost the skin on my knees, got poison oak in my lungs, had a tent that broke in half during a windstorm. So you see, I would be completely unprepared to go live in the woods. So, I guess I’m trying to say absolutely no zip line for me.

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