Don’t eat the bananas!!Don’t eat the bananas!!

One day bananas look, taste and smell great and the next day, the banana’s toxic fumes will try to kill you. Bananas should not ferment. Children eat them. I don’t think kids should be getting high off of bananas.

They also come with stickers attached. I don’t need reading material on my banana. I think they should switch those stickers to warning labels. ‘Warning! If this banana has too many brown spots it will intoxicate you’.

I like to put bananas in my corn flakes. I don’t slice them, I just put them in the bowl completely whole. People ask me, “Jerry, why do you put your bananas in your corn flakes whole?” I always say the same thing. “Shut up. That is too personal. How do you eat tacos? See, it doesn’t feel so good being asked the question.”

People don’t know how to properly peel a banana. They try to open it from the top. That’s stupid. It is clearly meant to be opened from the bottom. Just twist it a little, then peel it. It comes out perfectly and is delicious. I learned that from watching monkeys at the zoo. Those dudes are experts.

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