Diets make me crazy!

My doctor is insane! He wants me to get down to my original weight, but that’s 6 pounds, 5 ounces!

My therapist wants me to go on a Keto diet developed by a Dr. Axe. I don’t know about that. There are exactly 1,06,461 keto diet plans available. Since I donated a kidney, I need to be careful about ketosis and how it can damage the body. I think I’d rather stay on the ‘eat what I want diet. I won’t end up in a keto state. Maybe a coma state, that’s not bad. I’d get a lot of rest.

I’d like to lose some weight, who doesn’t? But I’m not sure I want to do diet and exercise to get it done. How about one of those surgeries that are so popular now? Lap band. Which is weird because they actually do nothing with the lap because it’s not really a thing. If you stand up or lie down, it’s gone.

There’s liposuction, but too many people croak due to complications. That doesn’t sound good to me. I could get a six pack tattoo on my torso, but that would only work until people saw my profile and then they’d be like ‘What up?’. I guess I should should consult my doctor first but he’s gonna start in with the whole ‘original weight’ thing again. Ugh.

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