Yesterday, we were on the way to a Bible study. We got a few blocks away when Heather realized she forgot her Chapstick. She suddenly did a better fish tail turn around than Jason Bourne and burned rubber all the way home. When she got back in the car she said, “That’s better.” I said nothing. I was afraid.
The ingredients in Chapstick will blow you away. Arachidyl propionate, camphor, carnauba wax, cetyl alcohol, fragrance, isopropyl lanolate, isopropyl myristate, lanolin, light mineral oil, menthol, methylparaben, octyldodecanol, paraffin, phenyl trimethicone, Propylparaben, red 6 lake, saccharin, white wax. I know! Most of them are not healthy. Who would have thought that such an innocent looking little tube that prevents chapped lips would have such a diabolical cocktail such as this? I think they omitted one key ingredient. Cocaine. I’ve heard so many people say they’re addicted to the tubular concoction, I think that’s a safe bet. When I say addicted, I mean hard core, full blown addiction. I’m not sure why the price of the lip balm is so low. I’ll bet they could sell the stuff for 20 bucks a pop and get it. People ‘jones’ after this stuff worse than the featured character on an episode of ‘Intervention’. Plus that way, I could make my own and sell it for ten bucks. I’d make a fortune!