This is an outrage!!

Yesterday the Fedex guy delivered my new thesaurus I ordered from Amazon. I consider it a must-have for all writers. When I opened it, every page was blank! I know! I don’t have the words to express my anger!

Does anyone even use a thesaurus in paper form anymore? I use the one built in to Microsoft Word. It’s the same thing with encyclopedias. Who needs ’em? Dictionarys? So long.

Electronic devices have replaced all of those things, although they can be dangerous. Like what I call the great thesaurus event of 2009. That was the fateful day when I looked up the word thesaurus in the thesaurus in my word processor. My laptop exploded.

I’ve heard similar stories of people Googling ‘Google’. It’s dangerous. I still have shrapnel from my laptop. I nearly l lost three teeth and nearly died. Now I have PTSD and I’m afraid to use my replacement laptop. I write my blogs on my cell phone and auto correct is the only thing I use. Even that can get you into hot water if you fail to catch some of the words it inserts.

In the near divorce debacle of 2016, my wife sent me a text, wondering how the young woman i hired as an assistant was catching on to the comedy business. I sent this: “She’s awesome! She has mad ‘secret’ skills I’ve never seen before.” Obviously, I meant ‘secretary’, but try to explain your way out of that one. Click here for more than a thousand FREE short and funny blogs!Check out my books on Amazon here!

3 thoughts on “This is an outrage!!

  1. ‘Word’ and I have a running battle which ends up with me using words and phrases common in barracks or building sites but not to be used when children are around.
    My last battle with ‘Word’ was when I used ‘Copse’ as in small huddle of trees which ‘Word’ used to underline with two blue lines; told me it was a ‘Possible Word Error and suggested ‘Cops’. If this had been on auto-correct, characters in my fantasy novels would have been seeking out groups of law officers to eat with, sleep with (questionable) or worse ‘do what bears do in woods’. Happily ‘Word’ has now relented.
    I like to think it was my constant use of harsh language and the attendant vibes which resulted in that victory.

    Liked by 1 person

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