I am shocked!!

When I got the mail yesterday, I inadvertently put the water bill on the electric bill. Needless to say, I was shocked. (Insert rim shot)

I love the fact that you can pay a set utility payment year round. I only do it for electricity because I use an electric fireplace in the winter and that keeps my gas bill very low, while the electric bill never changes. Now if I can just find a way to tie it all to my neighbors account, I’ll be set.

I pay about $160 per month for all three utilities, so I think that’s really good. Maybe I should get a solar panel. That would reduce my bill by $85 a month! But since I lease, I don’t think the landlord would like that. Plus it would cost me about 100 clams a month and we will probably move before it’s paid off so that would actually be rather stupid.

Besides, they really make your house look weird. They cover the entire roof! I know! When we buy a place in Mississippi in a few years, I’ll consider it, but only if they can make them look like shingles. Not the rash, but roof shingles. I don’t want to be the guy with the odd looking house.

The panels remind me of the giant satellite dishes of old. Those babies were bigger than Kirstie Alley on a binge. Now the only weird thing is people who have several smaller dishes on their roof. Every time you change satellite carriers, the old company leaves the dish on your roof. Ugly! I heat them up with a blow torch and make odd looking sculptures out of them. I’ve only burned down six houses so far. There is certainly a learning curve.

One of our neighbors still has a giant satellite dish in their back yard, which leads me to believe that they are either spies or they are like Dr. Evil and the thing is really a laser aimed at a planet. They are most likely extorting money from the beings on the planet in exchange for their existence. I wonder what the exchange rate is? Click here for more than 4,000 FREE short and funny blogs!

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