You mean it’s all fake???

Our fireplace is really just a space heater with phoney fire, but at least it looks fake. Not everyone can say that.

Fake fireplaces, fake Christmas trees, fake wreaths, candles to make it smell like a wax forest in our homes. Even fake snow so the ski resorts can open early and stay open longer. What’s next, fake wrestling and roller derby?

Fake rolex watches, fake designer handbags, fake nails and eyelashes as well as other body parts, and I don’t know if you’re aware of this but malls and department stores even hire fake Santas! I know!

When my kids were little, I never took them to a fake Santa so they would spill their guts with all sorts of very expensive things that I wouldn’t be able to afford. I didn’t need that kind of stress. So, they wrote Santa letters, guided by me, of course so they a always got what they wanted. I ain’t no punk.

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