My foot was severely swollen and extremely painful. I went to my doctor. She took one look and said “gout”. I said, “That’s rude, I just got here.”
There is really nothing funny about the gout. It’s incredibly painful and oftentimes requires a crutch or cane to get around. I get it from time to time and it’s normally mild and gone in a couple of days.
Sometimes, however, it viciously attacks and it feels like a broken foot. That’s the way it is right now. Ugh. I’m using a crutch to get around but it’s still difficult to sleep or do household chores. Naturally I complete them anyway because I’m more afraid of my wife than the pain incurred.
Mind you, she wouldn’t hit me. Wives have so many weapons in their arsenal to make a man miserable without the customary hard pinch under the arm. That is the worst. Rarely have I felt that kind of pain. No, she’ll pretend to be cranky because she knows I’ll do anything to try and cheer her up.
It doesn’t work, of course, because she’s faking it to get even and the truth is she can keep it going for days on end. With gout, you just stop indulging in things that contain or cause uric acid and it will normally go away. Given the choice, I’ll take the gout.
Another brilliant opening one-liner Jerry. Classic Comic Turning Adversity Into Humour for folk.
Wives eh? I don’t know why Security and Intelligence services go to all that training, when all they need to deploy is a woman, who would sit at the opposite end of the table with ‘that look’ and not saying anything while pretending to read a magazine, file nails, etc. and replying to anything the guy said with ‘Hmmm’ After about two hours the man would be a broken wreck.
Hope that gout clears up soon.
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Thank you, Roger. Yes, ‘that look’. Very frightening!
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Hide under the table time!
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