I can’t golf!!

I’m a terrible golfer. The last time I went, a shot landed in the deep rough, in the trees. I used my seven iron to attempt to get out. Then I saw a skeleton with a seven iron by his side. I know! I was startled and immediately got my nine iron. Clearly I wouldn’t get out with the seven iron.

Somewhere in the Mabbott family gene pool, something went completely haywire. I have three athletic brothers who are all really good at golf. They love it! They are also excellent at basketball. I succeed at neither. I played a lot of golf in my younger days but I became bored very quickly.

I love the courses. They are beautiful and very peaceful. Sure, you hear the occasional expletive laced rant now and then so usually I just let them play through. I’m the quintessential SAAM golfer. ‘Swing and a miss’. There are few things more embarrassing than to swing really hard and then stare down the fairway to see how straight and far the ball went, only to hear your friends laugh so hard they cry because your ball is still on the tee.

All three of my brothers are successful businessmen and live more than comfortably. I’m glad they do. They’ve worked very long and hard and now enjoy themselves doing things that most people don’t get to do. It’s awesome. Me? I was good at business but again became easily bored. So, I became a comedian. I have no regrets with my decision. I live comfortably and have been able to see many of my dreams come true. My parents never really saw it that way.

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