I’m very worried that I’m going to be impeached as head of my household. I’ve heard whispers from the two dogs and if they convince Heather to join them, I’m toast.
This is certainly not about who’s really in charge here. We all know that would be Heather. ‘ Head of household’ is an empty label unless the wife holds the title. She’ll have all of the power if I lose my one percent.
The pending impeachment would mean that I would be at the bottom. Heather, Maggie, Shiloh and then me. That means I would be relegated to doggie meals while Maggie and Shiloh would eat like kings and I would also lose my bathroom privileges. It’s cold outside and the neighbors would likely call the cops and I would end up at the pound.
I’m going to need to hire a strategist to get this under control. Wait, I hear more whispering from the three of them and there’s a reporter from Fox News at the front door. I’m in big trouble! I’ll keep you posted.
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Heh heh heh … Here, Jerry, here’s my card. I will happily represent you in the near-certain impeachment trial. Heh heh heh … my fee, of course, is nominal … I work by the hour, $1,500 per hour, plus my investigator will require a deposit up front of $22,672 (his annual alimony payment). Feel free to call me anytime, day or night, my number is right there on the card. Anything else I can help you with today?
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Done! Take a check?
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Sure, as long as you have two forms of ID!
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Do they have to be mine?
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Not necessarily …
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