Who Are You???

Last night a trick-or-treater came to our door and I swear she was about 72 1/2 years old. I was mad. “Trick-or-treating is for kids, lady”, I said. I really ripped her a new one. she began to cry. Just then a much younger woman came running to the door, saying “You jerk, she’s only five years old!“ Her costume was magnificent. 

Kids costumes seem to be better quality now than ever before. When I was a kid I just put them in a plastic mask Held on your head by a very thin piece of elastic that broke after about two houses. Put a cape on And you were good to go. Or use an old sheet to become a ghost.

A kid showed up at our door last night dressed up like a chicken. It was amazing. The only problem was he couldn’t use his hands to take the candy bar. I finally realized that and put one in his bag for him, but I couldn’t believe how elaborate his costume was.

We actually saved a ton of money last night because we only had a few candy bars to give out so we got into our junk drawer and handed out old packets of Taco Bell hot sauce. Some people might find that crass, but I call fiscal responsibility.

I never really liked Halloween when I was a kid. We lived in Montana until I was seven, so naturally every Halloween it was freezing cold outside with that thin little costume and a pillow case to hold the candy, you would walk door to door until hypothermia set in. One year, I got frostbite. My index finger on my right hand fell off. I’m just kidding. It was my pinky. I still don’t really like the holiday much

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5 thoughts on “Who Are You???

  1. That kid was a convincing old lady!!! Montana? Aren’t there like 50 miles between houses in Montana? No wonder you didn’t like Hallowe’en much if you had to trek some 200 miles just to get four pieces of candy, and heck, half of them were probably leftover from a few years before!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. When I was a young ‘un it was called ‘Ducking Apples Night’…..You know a big basin of water, floating apples, tried and grab them with your teeth and the adults make sure the little monsters don’t try and drown each other.
    Years back our marketing people talked to your marketing people about Halloween and….Pow! Big commercial rip-off!
    What is tearing at the hearts of our marketing people is they can’t figure a way to import Thanksgiving.

    Liked by 1 person

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