Last￼ night a trick-or-treater came to our door and I swear she was about 72 1/2 years old. I was mad. “Trick-or-treating is for kids, lady”, I said. I really ripped her a new one. she began to cry. Just then a much younger woman came running to the door, saying “You jerk, she’s only five years old!“ Her costume was magnificent. ￼￼￼￼￼
Kids costumes seem to be better quality now than ever before. When I was a kid I just put them in a plastic mask Held on your head by a very thin piece of elastic that broke after about two houses. Put a cape on And you were good to go. Or use an old sheet to become a ghost.
A kid showed up at our door last night dressed up like a chicken. It was amazing. The only problem was he couldn’t use his hands to take the candy bar. I finally realized that and put one in his bag for him, but I couldn’t believe how elaborate his costume was.
We actually saved a ton of money last night because we only had a few candy bars to give out so we got into our junk drawer and handed out old packets of Taco Bell hot sauce. Some people might find that crass, but I call fiscal responsibility.
I never really liked Halloween when I was a kid. We lived in Montana until I was seven, so naturally every Halloween it was freezing cold outside with that thin little costume and a pillow case to hold the candy, you would walk door to door until hypothermia set in. One year, I got frostbite. My index finger on my right hand fell off. I’m just kidding. It was my pinky. I still don’t really like the holiday much￼￼