I Am Toast!!!

Does anybody ever use a toaster for bread anymore? All of my friends and family seem to use it only for a Ego waffles and pop tarts. It’s no wonder. My toaster has two settings. One, to warm the bread slightly and two, smoke detector mode.

I think that maybe it’s time to get a new toaster. But is it really worth it? I don’t eat Pop tarts and I gave up toast long ago after nearly burning down the neighborhood.

In today’s world there are so many different ways to cook things. Conventional oven, convection Alvin, microwave oven, air fryers. Etc. I hearby declare toasters obsolete. Someone had to say it and now it’s done. I urge you to turn in your toaster’s peacefully, without incident.

The last thing any of us need is a toaster riot like we had 23 years ago. At that time, everybody was so into toasters that supply could not keep up with demand. There were riots, cars set ablaze. President Clinton called in the National Guard to restore order. It was an ugly time in American History. Let’s not repeat that.

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10 thoughts on “I Am Toast!!!

  1. If anyone is having trouble sleeping they could listen to my lecture:
    ‘Toasters. The Application of the Heating Dial in Association with Close Proximity to the Device, While Engaged in Short-Time Minor Domestic Tasks’
    (I have been challenged by a renowned economist to see who can send more people to sleep the quickest.)

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I stole that from a MAD parody of Midnight Cowboy, in which the Jon Voight (John Buck) character is paid by an Economics Professor to stay awake through one of his lectures as all his classes keep falling asleep.
        After three panels John Buck is seen raising ‘the lamp’ to attack the man saying:
        ‘You sadist! Expecting anyone to stay awake through this!’ and the man replying ‘Wait you haven’t heard about..’
        Classic MAD πŸ˜„


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