Don’t Drink The Milk!!!

There are many types of milk. I happen to be a big fan of it. I know people say that dairy is bad for you, but I don’t care. I love that stuff. The best kind of milk is cereal milk. It is just so good. Heather won’t let me drink it out of the bowl, so now I only have cereal when she’s not around. I think it’s perfectly natural to drink out of a cereal bowl. In fact, I’m going to put my foot down and decree it is supposed to be consumed that way.

Yeah like that will hold up. I learned long ago not to make decrees because Heather is really in charge. Married men, you know it’s true. She’ll give in on some things just to make it seem like you’re in charge but she’s really just toying with you. Why do people say toying with you? Wouldn’t messing or playing be more logical? Stupid word.

Speaking of toys, I don’t remember if I told you that I bought one of those robot vacuums. The thing is really cool and does a great job, but I left the housekeeper alone in the same room. It’s now broken in 157 pieces. I guess it may have threatened her job security. I asked her about it and she told me that it just exploded. Right.

I’m not sure what to do. I either need to replace the vacuum or the housekeeper. Since she cleans a lot more than the floor, I guess I’ll need to keep her. She is very nice, so I’m thinking she may be right. The stupid robot simply exploded. I wonder if I could send it back and see if it’s covered under warranty. I’ll let you know. Now if you’ll excuse me I have a box of frosted mini wheat’s calling my name and yes, I am going to drink the milk right out of the pool. I might even video it and send it to Heather. What am I, nuts?

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