They’re Killing Me!

When I was in Air Force boot camp, we were outside doing physical training. We were told to get in formation and remain still and silent. I couldn’t help myself. I started squirming like I was dancing (not a pretty sight). I heard “Mabbott, what is wrong with you?” “I’m covered with fire ants, sir!” “Well move, you idiot.” Just being a good Airman.

I don’t know if you’ve been bitten by a fire ant, but let’s just say it’s excruciating. I was being bitten all over my legs. The swelling was huge and the rest is just too gross to write about. I finally figured out that day that the Training Instructors were tough as nails, but practical too. I went to a few treatments at the infirmary and was good to go.

I doubt if anything hurts that much, except maybe being forced to square dance against our will in high school gym class. That was just wrong. You work up a sweat with normal dancing, which would have been more palatable than square dancing. Ugh.

Who’s idea was it? Who was the person who first thought, “I know how to make them more miserable than they already are. Let’s make them square dance. We can always use the excuse ‘You never know when you’ll need these skills in life.’ I can answer that question. NEVER! I’ve not square danced after those days even once. It was simply mandated torture.

Click here for more than a thousand FREE short and funny blogs!

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “They’re Killing Me!

  1. Fire ants do not sound nice!
    Could have been worse I think in the US Marines the instructor would have told you to stand there and take it (along with a lot of choice words).
    Trouble with Square Dancing is those half-sung instructions you get in some; they bring out the weird in me:
    Ahem:
    ‘Ladies. Kick you partner in the groin.
    While he’s there a’ writhing on the floor,
    Steal his wallet and run for the door…
    With a dozey-doh ‘….
    See what I mean?

    Liked by 1 person

      1. 🤣
        ‘Here come her brothers all six foot two. There’s the window for you to jump right through’

        Who shall blame for our kockabout perspectives?
        Marx Brothers
        Three Stooges
        MAD Magazine
        Warner Bros ‘Looney Tunes’
        Or all of the above?
        (Or should it be ‘credit’ and not ‘blame’?)

        Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s generally groups of for people for each square and when the music starts (very old time country. There’s also a ‘caller’ who switches up the moves. Terms like ‘doe see doe’ and ‘skip to my Lu.’

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Okay, that sounds hard. Ironically enough, shortly before I read this post, I had seen on Pinterest a picture (I can’t remember what it was) and the caption was ‘Square dancing was created by women who were in line waiting to go to the toilet.’

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s