When I was in Air Force boot camp, we were outside doing physical training. We were told to get in formation and remain still and silent. I couldn’t help myself. I started squirming like I was dancing (not a pretty sight). I heard “Mabbott, what is wrong with you?” “I’m covered with fire ants, sir!” “Well move, you idiot.” Just being a good Airman.
I don’t know if you’ve been bitten by a fire ant, but let’s just say it’s excruciating. I was being bitten all over my legs. The swelling was huge and the rest is just too gross to write about. I finally figured out that day that the Training Instructors were tough as nails, but practical too. I went to a few treatments at the infirmary and was good to go.
I doubt if anything hurts that much, except maybe being forced to square dance against our will in high school gym class. That was just wrong. You work up a sweat with normal dancing, which would have been more palatable than square dancing. Ugh.
Who’s idea was it? Who was the person who first thought, “I know how to make them more miserable than they already are. Let’s make them square dance. We can always use the excuse ‘You never know when you’ll need these skills in life.’ I can answer that question. NEVER! I’ve not square danced after those days even once. It was simply mandated torture.