I’m In A Bad Mood!!!

It really takes a lot for me to be in a bad mood. I am pretty much a happy go lucky guy. But when a complete stranger punches me in the gut for no good reason I somehow wind up in a bad mood and have a terrible bellyache. Actually it doesn’t even have to be a stranger if anybody punches me in the belly I’m gonna be in a bad mood.

I think I’ll write a book about the seven secret steps to happiness. It seems like all the self-help books have seven secrets to success so that must be the number that I need to come up with. Let me start now.

  • Always blame your mistakes on other people. This keeps you from feeling guilty and therefore adds to your happiness.
  • Steals something that you would like once a day. If it’s something that you like and it’s free, what could make you more happy than that?
  • Avoid your spouse as much as possible. I know that I irritate my wife that doesn’t feel good so if I avoid her I will be happy.
  • Drink as much booze as is possible during the day. If you’re at work, use a Diet Coke cup. If you’re at home, use anything you want.
  • Hire a housekeeper. She will do all of the cleaning that you don’t want to do and that makes you unhappy. She’ll come in once a week and do all the things that make you unhappy.
  • If you’re a guy, definitely have a man cave. I have one, in fact I’m writing my blog from the man cave right now. Put a nice TV in it as Soundsystem to listen to music and Bam! You’re a happy camper.
  • Always going to bed angry. During the night your brain will have the opportunity to deal with the things that made you angry in the first place and you will mostly wake up happy. If you find it doesn’t work go out on the street until you find somebody who is really happy and throat punch them guaranteed to make you happy.
  • And there you have it! My seven secret steps to becoming happy. Sure, some of them are quite selfish but no one else can make you happy. You need to do the things that you know will make you happy. These seven steps are guaranteed to work or your money back.

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