An Uber Driver??? Are you kidding me???

I think if I were an Uber or Lyft driver, I would I would make everyone put all packages in the trunk for ‘safety’ reasons’. Then I would charge $25 per item before I unload them. Cha-ching! Now there’s your tip.

If someone called the cops on me. I would say, “Hey, we already made the trip. If she wants to pay someone else to pick her up, I’m ok with that.” If I got fired from Uber or Lyft I would start my my own independent cab company.

My business model would be just like Frontier Airlines. Charge ridiculously low fares and then hit the add ons hard. No leg room but I’ll move the front seat up for seven bucks. Forgot your headphones? No problem. 15 bucks. I would offer soft drinks and bottled water. 3 dollars each.

A variety of snacks for two dollars each. As an independent, I can charge whatever I like for anything! Want the windows rolled up? Five bucks. To really make this work, I would need to get one of those cheap $49 paint jobs every week and change the name of my company as well. The rates would stay the same and therefore I would be able to fake some of the same people into taking them back from the airport. Oh, and I would need disguises.

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