Don’t Rub My Belly!!!

People rub the bellies of pregnant women. Do they like it? I would think not unless it’s a very close family member or her best friend. So invasive. Go rub the bellies of some bikini clad ladies at the beach and you will be arrested and probably assaulted by either her boyfriend or her friends that are with her.

I know I get very insulted when people rub my belly too. I know! Like most men in their 60’s, I have a sizeable, but getting smaller each day, belly. Somehow strangers feel compelled to pat it and tell me I’m cute. Sorry, the cute part doesn’t get you off the hook. I normally do Marshall (How I Met Your Mother) slap on the face.

I’ve only been arrested once for a slap because it was a girl scout. Just kidding! It was a Browny. So I’ve learned that only little people apparently have the right to rub bellies without any punishment. Not all little people, mind you. I slapped a little adult person not long ago. Not cool.

I guess the rule here, the lesson to be learned is simply keep your hands to yourself. Rub your own belly after a large meal, cause if you rub mine, I will go all Marshall on you. Count on it.

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