Everyone advertises blazing high speed in their internet ads. So why are the blazing speeds I’m supposed to get are as slow as OJ’s Bronco ‘chase’? They should be fast, like one of the Avengers. They’re real, right?
Actually, when I say that my Internet is blazing what I mean is that the router burst into flames last night and it completely got the office. Fortunately for me my mother-in-law showed up in the nick of time and just her icy presence put the fire out. Otherwise we might have lost our entire house.
So now I am shopping for a new Internet service that tells the truth when they say it is the fastest. The problem is they want you to sign a two year agreement so when the problem starts you can’t do anything about it for at least two years. That’s just not right. They should have to prove to me first that the Internet speeds are what they say they are. A 30 day trial at least.
If it doesn’t live up to what they promised me, I should have the option of going to their office and putting it ablaze. That way, they could advertise and say that their Internet speeds are really blazing hot. I like it. I think I’ll do it. I’ll get arrested for arson but I hear that the Internet speeds in prison are really fast. Problem solved. I’m so creative.