Why are showers and bathtubs made out of slippery materials? That’s just being mean to old people. It worked out for me yesterday. I slipped and konked my head in the shower. When I woke up, I knew everything. Yes, everything!
I can tell you who picked the first apple. Hint: it was a woman. I can tell you who won last year’s Super Bowl! I know which baseball player was the first to hit 700 home runs. Hint: he was ‘juicing’ on hot dogs. My brother was hit by a car and had no injuries. How could I possibly know that?
I can tell you that the San Francisco Giants really stink this season. And last year as well. I can tell you who the current president is. I can tell you who the next one will be. It has to do with some college, Harvard. Who ever gets the most votes from Harvard wins the election! I know!
Matt Laur turned out to be a pervert and was fired from ‘The Today’ show’. In fact lots of famous people were caught doing the same thing and lost their jobs. Some went to prison and rightfully so. I hope people have learned that behavior is unacceptable. One more thing, I know my own address! I told you, I know everything!