Last night I got the worst night sleep ever. Why? Because my CPAP machine attempted to kill me. I know! But it really did happen. I had acid reflux and woke up choking and breathing through that stupid thing and had to get up take three cough drops and a few scoops of peanut butter to get rid of the horrible taste.
I finally got to sleep a few hours later. Stupid CPAP machine. I am certain it had nothing to do with the 16 ounce ribeye I consumed for Father’s Day.
OK so maybe I exaggerated the part of it being the worst nights sleep ever. There was a time when I went up into the snowy mountains with my son for a Boy Scout trip. Unfortunately, there weren’t enough beds. I slept on a floor that I swear rivaled the cold at the top of Mount Everest. I didn’t sleep at all that night even though I had a nice sleeping bag. Ugh. I hate the Boy Scouts. Just kidding. Not about the cold floor but about hating the Boy Scouts. I guess it’s now a boy/girl scouts. Ugh again.
OK, I admit that I lied about that being the worst night ever. I Think that waiting up all night for a cheating spouse to come home was the worst ever. Not only did I fail to sleep, I also got pretty drunk. Self medication? Absolutely! A good thing to do? Absolutely not!
Speaking of Mount Everest, there are people who are falling off the top of the mountain because they were tripping on dead frozen bodies and other debris. I wonder why they’re having trouble getting that place cleaned up. They should use Groupon and use one of the introductory cleaning coupons. Problem solved. Get the egos mountain clean for 49 bucks.