Bats In My Belfry???

Baseball players use bats to hit the ball and the those bats are really made of wood. I think they should use real bats. Sorry PETA, It just makes sense to me. I know it would be much more difficult to hit a home run, but I’ve always heard the game is not really about home runs anyway.

Mike Trout wiping the bat goo off of his gloves.

I’ve heard people use the term ‘Bats in my belfry’ often. This makes no sense. A belfry is a church tower or steeple that contains bells. I don’t know anyone who owns their own belfry. That would be more annoying than a rooster, and I hate that he wakes me up at 5 o’clock in the morning. Imagine the bells!

I think I’ll start waking the rooster up by beating on a trash can lid at 3 o’clock in the morning. Our I’ll just eat him and buy my own eggs. The hens can’t get it right anyway. They don’t lay pure white eggs like you get in the store. They’re all kinds of colors. Like every day is Easter.

I don’t know why I have chickens anyway. I live in an apartment. I don’t think I’ll get my deposit back. The place reeks of chickens. Plus the rooster has my neighbors upset. I can’t have friends over because the rooster attacks them. I think I’ll go to the nearest belfry and hide them up there. Chickens in their belfry? I’m changing old traditions! Sweet!

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