Only Decaf???

Recently. All the coffee I’ve had is decaf. What’s the point? Coffee is supposed to wake you up. Decaf forces you to pretend. To trick your mind. I don’t need to trick my mind. It gets upset when I do it.

My mind is still upset about the whole Santa Claus thing. It’s really ticked off with the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy. Those are much harder to believe. A rabbit that hops all over the world? By the time it gets to my house it should have a pretty bad case of hip displacia.

I’ve also been tricking my mind for decades that the Miami Dolphins are a solid team. Even I’m upset about that one. They stink up the league each year. It like thinking the WWE and Roller Derby are real. Or that Bob Dylan is a great singer.

No more tricks! That might be why my brain recently tried to kill me. It controls everything, so I need to stop the tricks. It probably doesn’t believe any of my thoughts anymore, which is weird because it actually conjures up the thoughts. Wait… that means my brain has been tricking ME! Now I don’t know what to do.

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6 thoughts on “Only Decaf???

  1. DECAF???? How do you even function? How do you remember where the bathroom is? I would be a zombie without my 14 cups of strong black coffee from the time my feet hit the ground ’til the time my head hits the pillow 20 hours later. 😱 β˜•β˜•β˜•β˜•β˜•β˜•β˜•

    Liked by 2 people

      1. They don’t serve anything in hospitals that would make you want to keep coming back, but I think the lack of caffeine is so that you’ll sleep most of the time and not keep ringing that dadburn call bell!

        Liked by 1 person

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