Jerry Mabbott's Blog

My house doesn’t have a/c. I didn’t think I could afford a system last year so I bought 34 tubs and kept them filed with dry ice and water with a fan behind each. It was cool but very foggy and I kept running into things. I finally broke my leg. I spent $175,000 that summer. Anybody know of a good deal on central air?

I’ve been known to try to DIY nearly every every household project, usually costing more in the long run than if I would have just paid a professional. Like the time I pulled a Clark Griswold and fell off the roof. Slid right down, just like in the movie, only backwards which pulled my sweatshirt up. I think I invented ‘roof rash’ that day and have no nipples..

Another time I decided to change my land line phone plate myself rewiring as I went. My hands shake so wires touched many times during the repair. No matter, it worked! As I was patting myself on the back, the door bell rang. I opened it and found myself starring at five cops with guns pointed right at me. I know!

I was put in cuffs and sat on the couch as they searched every square inch of my house. When they finished, they checked for outstanding warrants and finally took the cuffs off. Apparently, when the wires kept touching each other a 911 call was made each time. As the officers left, they told me to stop being my own handyman. That’s how professionals make a living. I don’t fix things anymore.

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