Doctor! Please Help Me!!!

We all know that Oprah gave Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz their start. What I just learned is that there was one who failed miserably on her show. Dr. Kevorkian was a total bust. No one would volunteer.

Can you imagine the show, ‘Doctor Death’? I know! I just don’t think he would have been able to pull the rating numbers. I think I’m going to become a doctor like Dr. Phil or Dr. Laura so I can be famous and solve everyone’s problems in 3 – 60 minutes.

Watching Dr. Phil is really frustrating. If you eliminate commercial time, he has a total of 44 minutes to solve his guests’ problems. It’s just not possible and it drives me nuts. I know he offers additional counseling, but this is television! Entertain me! It’s not about your patients, IT’S ABOUT ME!!

There, I feel better. Back to my plan. Since Oprah’s retired (Right. That lady is everywhere), I’ll need need to pick a popular show… Got it! Mr. Rogers! Wait, he’s what? Ok, how about a regular segment on ‘The View’? Bad idea. There would be bloodshed. I’ll think about it and get back to you. Any suggestions?

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6 thoughts on “Doctor! Please Help Me!!!

  1. Bold steps are needed. Jerry.
    Start out on small cabal network with your show, in which you tell everyone what is wrong with the country; this need of course not be accurate and should cover everything from The Government down to cheap pizzas and the lack of good quality lychee nuts. Your solutions should be vague and involve a lot loudly delivered and incomprehensible statements. Except for your own classic one-liners which should be delivered succinctly. You should avoid attacking particular groups just people in general and naturally say frequently ‘Why, in MY day’ Also invoke presidents who served at least a hundred years ago, and supreme court judges only experts in law know about. AND quote from MAD magazine issues of at least forty years old
    Within two years you’ll be national and coining it in.
    It’s a winner I tell ya!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Glad to be supply chuckles Jerry!
        Lychee nuts…I owe that all to MAD. I purchase many small paper back anthologies in my teens. One had an item as to what ‘normal people do’ (satire) and what MAD people do (celebration of MAD readers). In the clothing section MAD people wore capes (I think) with pockets for a good supply of Lychee nuts….. that never went away….’The Lychee Nuts’ became a catch-phrase for me in times of stress, such as thoughts of filling my work desk drawer with an adequate supply of them…naturally I’ve never tasted one. But what was go enough for MAD was good enough for me!

        Liked by 1 person

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