This Is Outrageous!!!

Yesterday the Fedex guy delivered my new thesaurus I ordered from Amazon. I consider it a must-have for all writers. When I opened it, every page was blank! I know! I don’t have the words to express my anger!

Does anyone even use a thesaurus in paper form anymore? I use the one built in to Microsoft Word. It’s the same thing with encyclopedias. Who needs ’em? Dictionarys? So long.

Electronic devices have replaced all of those things, although they can be dangerous. Like what I call the great thesaurus event of 2009. That was the fateful day when I looked up the word thesaurus in the thesaurus in my word processor. My laptop exploded.

I’ve heard similar stories of people Googling ‘Google’. It’s dangerous. I still have shrapnel from my laptop. I nearly l lost three teeth and nearly died. Now I have PTSD and I’m afraid to use my replacement laptop. I write my blogs on my cell phone and auto correct is the only thing I use. Even that can get you into hot water if you fail to catch some of the words it inserts.

In the near divorce debacle of 2016, my wife sent me a text, wondering how the young woman i hired as an assistant was catching on to the comedy business. I sent this: “She’s awesome! She has mad ‘secret’ skills I’ve never seen before.” Obviously, I meant ‘secretary’, but try to explain your way out of that one.

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5 thoughts on “This Is Outrageous!!!

      1. Hmmmm … I shall have to try that! I usually just threaten to throw mine across the room, but I think it’s onto me and knows I would never do that, for I might accidentally beam a moggie!

        Liked by 2 people

  1. Word and I have regular (and on my side) profanity ridden arguments not just on spelling, but ‘word choice error’ (I’ll decide how to phrase things…computer!), I am pleased to say it has given up on ‘Reflexive Pronoun’.
    Since Word does not recognise any writing process other than a business presentation I have three thesaurus (es?) by my side.

    Liked by 1 person

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