I told a friend that I took Russian as my language requirement in school. Now I see black SUVs without plates outside my house 24/7 and my phone is making a strange noise. Oh, and I’m pretty sure I ran into Robert Mueller at the local 7-11. He was the clerk who prepared my hot dog, but still…
It’s gotten bad. My neighbors have begun putting up flyers encouraging people to impeach me. Impeach me from what? I know! I hold no office. I did in high school but do you think they would dig into my activities from 45 years ago?? And what could they do to me now?
I would much rather compete in a game of ‘Survivor’ with all of the adults on my block. I would be horrible at everything except fishing. The trouble is there are no fish, aside from pets, in the neighborhood. I’ve never been good at puzzles but maybe I could find some hidden immunity idols to keep me safe from the votes at tribal council.
Or how about a rousing game of duck-duck-goose? If I am kicked out of neighborhood, though, by whatever the means, my landlord is going to be very angry because we still have a year left on our lease.