I never know what to do when I meet someone who I’ve always wanted to meet, so I instantly make deep eye contact with them for uncomfortable periods of time before speaking. I’m convinced that they’ll never forget me. I have 47 restraining orders to prove it.
Bill Murray is someone that I have always wanted to meet. It finally happened one day in New York. I was grabbing a quick bite in a Manhattan Hotel before a show, when I saw Murray come in. I knew I had to shake hands with him without seeming like an annoying fan. I began trying to think of a way that I could get him to introduce himself to me.
There was one of those whackos sitting next to me. She kept walking by his table showing a little more leg each time. She told me she was a fashion designer. If that was true, it was for the blind. Her outfit was hideous. I suddenly had a brainstorm. I asked the waiter what Murray was having. He said it was cheesecake. I told him to put it on my tab.
When Bill tried to pay, the waiter pointed me out and Murray came over to my table and shook my hand as he introduce himself. He said, “Bill Murray”. I cleverly said, “I know.” He thanked me for the cheesecake. I told him to consider it payment for all of the laughs. He said, “Cheesecake??” We both laughed and he told me that if I ever saw him again to feel free to come over and talk. He then turned to that woman sitting next to me and said, “But lady, you keep your distance because, frankly, you scare me.” Classic Bill Murray.