What??? I Don’t Cheat!!!

I used to golf with my friend Jake. Heather recently asked me why I don’t play golf with him anymore. I said, “Would you play golf with a guy who moved the ball with his foot when you weren’t watching?” She said, “Of course not.” I said, “Well Jake won’t either.”

I used to love to golf. I played a lot. In fact, I became quite good at it. I started playing with a guy who was in the PGA. I even beat him seven times! OK, that was an absolute lie. In fact, several lies. I did play a lot but I was always horrible and Jake is a good friend who tried to teach me how to play.

I just don’t have the patience for the game. Plus, I have the attention span of a gnat. I get bored very quickly and I don’t concentrate on how I’m standing, how my hips move during my swing, blah blah blah. To me, it’s a snooze fest. It’s like watching it on TV. I know! I think the announcers always whisper because they don’t want to wake you up.

The most fun I ever had playing golf was when a comedian friend and I played in November in the cold on a frozen course. It was awesome! The ball would roll forever! Plus we were the only ones on the course and didn’t have to pay. We were finally chased off by a very angry man in a pretty fast golf cart. Thinking quickly, I beaned him with a ball and he fell out of the cart and we got away. Now that was a fun day of golf.

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9 thoughts on “What??? I Don’t Cheat!!!

      1. Urrh?
        Though I was always fascinated by the club known as a ‘mashie niblick (apparently it’s 7 iron?)
        But here’s an interesting snippet from Wikipedia:
        “Sunday sticks or sabbath sticks were the golf enthusiasts’ answer to the Church of Scotland’s discouragement of golfing on Sundays. Clubs were disguised as walking sticks, the club head comfortably fitting into the palm of the golfer’s hand, until when the golfer was unobserved, the stick was reversed and a few strokes were played”…Now that’s initiative!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I have this image of a group of stalwarts of a small scottish town annucing to their families they are going for a ‘wee walk along the moor, to clear mah head’, when they go so far looking about and then having a few suruptious rounds.

        Liked by 1 person

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