When my wife was pregnant with our daughter, Sarah, she wanted the birth to take place in a warm tranquil environment with soft music, soft lighting and a hot tub. We looked at the place and I asked, “Uh, isn’t this what got us into this in the first place?”
That really did happen. She wanted to have the baby on her terms instead of being told what to do by a nurse and doctor. It really was a beautiful facility. It was called ‘The Birthing Center’ in Azusa, California. They had a mid wife, a term that to this day mystifies me. Birthing coach? Ok. But mid wife seems like someone I should be able to make out with through the labor process. I know!
The birth went perfectly, despite the 17 hours of labor. We went home that day with a healthy little girl. It was great. The doctor’s name was Hy Abdul. I’ll never forget him for a couple of reasons. Insurance didn’t cover his service, so what should have been a couple of hundred bucks cost me two grand. The guy was delivering 90 babies per week. You do the math.
The other reason I’ll never forget him was because a couple of months later, he got busted for practicing medicine without a license! I know! The dude wasn’t even a doctor! Plus, he was raking in that $180 grand per WEEK. Nice gig, if you can get it. The last I heard he had escaped to Hawaii, which was really quite stupid because I’m pretty sure we have extradition treaties among our own states.
My other two kids were born just fine in hospitals.